Dating Your Spouse While Parenting Small Kids

A great way to put the spark back into your marriage is to date your spouse...

Dating your spouse while parenting small children can be challenging. To be quite honest, it has been the least priority on our list. Not intentionally but for the mere fact that our daily responsibilities of full-time work, running and building a business, household duties, and parenting our 21 month old and 5 year old to the best of our abilities, there hasn't been much thought behind it. It's so easy to get lost in the day to day routine that it becomes second nature. Willie and I have vowed to no longer put the intimacy of our marriage on the back burner.

It takes a Village

Prior to having our youngest daughter, hubby and I would try to go out at least once a month. Back then, we had extra help with babysitting. When my In-Laws relocated, so did our easy access to one of our trustworthy sitters. Grant it, I still have my parents and a few close family members here, but we're well aware of the demands of our little ones. I consciously try not to use our village until it is absolutely necessary. A happy, healthy marriage is indeed necessary, so we will make the conscious effort to solicit our village a little more.

By Any Means

Lately Willie and I have been trying to figure out what works best for our tight schedules. His work schedule allows him to be off at least once a week on rotating days. I've come to realize that we may have to focus on day dates while the kids are in school. I may have to meet him on my lunch break, if I'm working or even take a personal day. Our most recent day date was a morning movie

showing of Top Gun, followed by a nice lunch. We really enjoyed our time alone, and was able to squeeze in a nap before picking up our girls from daycare and summer camp. I'm currently on summer break from work and I am looking forward to his off days. This will give us at least 5 more day dates before returning to work and having to ask our village to babysit.

Importance of Reconnecting

Alone time and dates are crucial for our marriage. It gives us an opportunity to converse about our goals, expectations, and any issues we may have. We can indeed discuss those things

outside of dates, but having each others undivided attention forces us to listen. Sometimes it's hard to fully engaged ourselves when we're with the kids. Less interruptions brings better discussions.

What Is your Love Language?

There are 5 love languages....

1. Acts of Service

2. Words of Affirmation

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Quality Time

5. Physical touch

Learning your spouses love language(s) can be quite beneficial. I wasn't totally sure of what my

love language was to share with my husband, so I took The Love language Quiz. The quiz

asked a series of questions that strategically break down the things that I deemed extremely important when it comes to my partner acknowledging me. It was pretty spot on. I highly recommend taking it and sharing your results with your partner. Once you're clear on one another's languages, you'll have a better understanding of what to expect in your relationship and hopefully, grow closer.

Get Creative

Willie and I love food, travel, and being with our family. As mentioned before, his parents have relocated. There have been times where we would travel to their state and Willie and I would do an impromptu date night while they watch our girls. Now it wasn't our sole purpose to travel just to get a date, but it worked out that way. Fitness isn't my favorite but I've learned to take my husband up on his offer to work out when we're alone. It's not on my list of top dates, but he loves to workout and I know that his love language is quality time. So if I have to sweat and be outside of my comfort zone for a moment, then I'm willing to compromise for my husband. Sometimes we may have to find creative ways to spend time alone with each other. Rather if its putting the kids to bed early to have a date night in the living room or simply running errands together. Let's do it!

Here's to Happy & Healthy Unions

Its important for our children to see us in a healthy, happy marriage. Vowing to dedicate some alone time at least once a month is a fair start, being that the girls are so young. We want to make sure we're on the same wave and are keeping up with the needs of each other to help sustain our union. Getting our village involved more will help us stay on track. As the old African proverb says "It takes a village to raise a child". Here's to more creative dates and long happy marriages! I hope you find this helpful for you and yours.

If you have any creative date ideas, please feel share. We would love to hear them.

Always remember to live on purpose!!